I start this report with a very important question. What is the definition of torture?
a)      Having your fingernails slowly pulled from your fingers by a pair of long nosed pliers?
b)      Being poked in the eyes with a hot poker while drinking engine oil through a straw?
c)      Trying to play tennis while watching the rest of your team mates relaxing with barbecued burgers and hot dogs and cans of lager?

The answer is of course c) and for not the first time this season, Edd & I were last on court with me trying deperately not to eat my tennis racket, in the mistaken, misguided but very real belief that it was in fact a huge sumptuous burger!!!

Playing on clay courts was not something we had envisaged as we pulled into the Langley car park on another sweltering evening. Nobody seemed worried about the fact that it was a different type of surface and that it might affect our game, which is of course highly tuned to asphalt. No, no, no, the main topic of conversation was what this funny green stuff might do to our lovely white trainers.  

Still, playing on courts with plastic lines did at least make those tight line calls easier as if the ball hit the line it would jump up in a completely random direction. As the ball hit the line it made a distinct “ball on plastic” type sound and if you were really quick you then had a split second to try and guess which direction the ball might decide to go in and vaguely wave your tennis racket in that direction.  

This was of course my re-match with Jett Cash, who had foot faulted me in our earlier encounter (see previous report). The problem was I was so worried he might do it again that I chose to serve with my feet someway behind the baseline (in fact I think I was probably closer to the fence than the court…). It was only afterwards that someone pointed out to me that due to the lines being covered in clay nobody could see them anyway and so I could have stood on the line and he would never have known.  

Tea was pretty good, barbecue & beer. However the overall hospitality was bizarre to say the least. A friendly enough bunch during the tennis but no socialising after the match at all, and when we got up to leave we looked around and there was nobody to be seen. They all seemed to have just left us to it. 

Captaining the D team whilst playing for the C's against the D's was a strange experience. Late withdrawals meant that both myself & Edd were called up to the C team and pleased as I was with our personal performance I was gutted to see the D's succumb to a 9-0 defeat. Although victory was always going to be a big ask we came close in several of the sets and could have easily snatched 2 or even 3 rubbers from this match.

Special mention must go to David Oates & James Burch who fought back from 5-2 and 40-0 down in their match against the C teams "A" pairing to get back to 5-5 before finally going down 7-5. Mike Salva & Niall Lissenden continue to develop their partnership and on another day could have taken one or maybe two sets. Dave Smith & Suresh Kotecha also had chances but were unable to make the breakthrough in their games. Congratulations to Suresh on a fine debut performance for the club.

Burger & chips at the Guild washed down with a couple of pints was just what the doctor ordered (well actually it was Spider who ordered it but that's splitting hairs) and proved to be a fitting end to an enjoyable evening's tennis.

The first thing I noticed when I went into the clubhouse on this blustery Tuesday evening was a perfectly laid table... 12 neat place settings, cutlery, serviettes, plates, the lot... Well done Norman I thought for doing us proud on the teas this week, but alas I later discovered that this table belonged to the Ladies A team and ours was the rather empty looking table next to it.

So on to the match and a defeat for the D's but we put up a brave effort against a strong Langley side. Debutant pairing Mike Salva and Niall Lissenden put up a good fight before narrowly going down against the two stronger Langley pairings but reaped their rewards with a fine (and somewhat long) 7-5 win over the 3rd pairing. Despite playing some good tennis, Norman & Elvin were unable to make a breakthrough this time round but gave their all and hopefully enjoyed the evenings tennis.

Despite the 6-3 scoreline this was a positive display by all concerned against a strong side and with a few tweaks and a bit more experience I feel there are good things to come this season.

Thanks to Norman for doing the tea, a fine spread of sandwiches and cakes and for regaling the opposition with stories of his youth, something so long ago he remembers it in black & white.

We managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, as one of their players didn't turn up and so we started with a 3-0 lead and still managed to lose 5-4. 

However, them being a man short didn't actually work in our favour as it was their 3rd pair who were missing and because one of our teams had to sit out a set each time we were coming back on cold while the opposition were playing constantly and so were nice and warm. Never mind, things will get better...