A row is brewing over controversial tea scores being submitted by unscrupulous team captains to croxleytennis.co.uk.  David Beak who invented the tea score for league matches caused ripples of discontent in Watford Tennis League circles with his very first tea score of just 4/10 awarded to his Leverstock Green hosts.  But Beak was unrepentant when we contacted him this week.  “The league have written to all clubs pointing out that teas should be ‘reasonable’ – particularly following comments about mens’ tea offerings last season.  If others know what we think then action can be taken, so next season we would expect more Old Speckled Hen and less food.”  

However, it is the internal club wrangling particularly involving the normally mild mannered Liz Burch and the former ‘Pie in the sky’ actor Pete Worby which threatens to spill over into a full scale bun fight.  Worby denied this, claiming he would never waste a good bun.

Worby was highly critical of Liz’s own high tea scoring at an early home fixture this season, yet seems to apply different criteria to judging his own efforts which surprisingly appear to be based upon quantity regardless of quality, presentation, budget constraints or needs of vegetarians or other minority groups.  In the latest twist bananas apparently are now unacceptable to Worby despite their known health benefits . 

The committee are bracing themselves for fireworks at their next meeting at the Burch house when the issue is brought to the table. A tea and biscuit score is likely to be issued for that meeting as well following complaints that tea is regularly served with scum on the surface.  An unnamed source told us that a top local police officer may be brought in to investigate the tea row, and all eyes are on Richard Colman, although he is unlikely to move quickly.

This all could prove to be storm in a relative teacup however with the news that dress scores may also be introduced for league matches shortly following Chris Crick’s latest sock showing.  Crick faces a possible disciplinary hearing and suspension, and his feet will be sweating on the outcome.